Be Ready for the Ups & Downs

Helping someone with mental health issues can put supporters on the proverbial “emotional rollercoaster.” Don’t give up. Stay connected and be sure to take care of yourself too.

Some days you feel that you know just what to do to be helpful and it seems to be working. Other days, it can feel like everything is going backward, and you feel frustrated, helpless, anxious, or overwhelmed.

Practice empathy, not just sympathy. It will give you the emotional space needed to be an empathetic supporter and serve as a reminder that this isn’t about you. 

Finally, take steps that give you the strength, resilience, and energy to be an effective supporter. Offering care to someone starts with caring for yourself.

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Share Hope

Hope is one of the most important gifts supporters can bring to the mental health journey. Your hope empowers the person you care about to begin to imagine a better life, even when they cannot envision it themselves.

Everyone can put together a vision of hope in their own words, no matter how severe their mental health condition. Help them write down their specific vision for the future. Recognize that hope can be fragile, and a person can be crushed by causal or even well-meaning comments. Support their vision, even if aspects seem unrealistic at first. Over time, the person may – as we all do – adjust the specifics to adapt to current realities and new opportunities. 

When you can offer positive encouragement, the person you are trying to help will be more appreciative of your support and more likely to make progress.

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CELEBRATE EVERY VICTORY

A person’s mental health journey will likely last a lifetime. While there will be setbacks, there will also be triumphs. Recognize and applaud every step of progress, no matter how small.

Celebrating victories helps to make the mental health journey a more successful one. Recent research shows that confrontation and punishment are not drivers of long-term change and life success. What works? Accelerating access to positive reinforcement.

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Focus On Strengths

As a caring supporter, your most important opportunity is to reinforce strengths, not diminish them by finding flaws. Instead help your loved one feel and be stronger by acknowledging small steps forward and the work it took to achieve them.

To help you appreciate their effort, use a “strengths-based” approach to describing situations, rather than focusing on the negative.

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Ask & Listen

Express your desire to understand what the person is going through by asking questions and being fully present in the conversation.

Welcome them as they are. Ask to hear their story and how they’re feeling. Inquire about behaviors that seem unusual or concerning. Whether good or bad, their experience is their story, and important to respect.

Avoid acting without full knowledge of what has happened or how the person perceives it. Instead take time to listen carefully and gain empathetic understanding of the situation.  That will allow you to be a more effective supporter and partner.

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DON’T TRY TO “FIX”

It’s not your job to “fix” the person. Your role is to be a great partner, helping them to stay focused and hopeful. You aren’t expected to be an expert or have all the answers. Remember, it is their journey, not yours.

Supporters can overcome the fixer mindset by practicing “empathetic detachment.” Empathize with their situation but embrace that you’re not responsible for changing it.

Instead, provide a safe space and allow them to determine what level of support will help them most at that point in time.

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I AM FEELING ALL THE THINGS.

Let your friends know that you are feeling like you

would like to talk.

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GOING THROUGH IT RN.

Be strong by reaching out for support from

your friends and family.

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HERE IF YOU NEED ME.

If a friend is experiencing mental health concerns, you can provide valuable support by letting your friend know you are there to talk and listen.

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MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS

Help prioritize mental health by sharing with your friends and family that mental health matters and seeking treatment for mental health is the same as seeking treatment for any other health condition.

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HOW ARE YOU, REALLY?

Looking for a simple way to #GoFirst and start an open and honest conversation about mental health? Send this sticker to a friend, asking, “how are you, really?” and show your support by listening to what’s on their mind.

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CURRENT MOOD?

Talking about how we feel to those we love can help us feel supported and less alone. Try sharing your “current mood” with a friend. It can work both ways. If you open up, it might encourage them to do the same.

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WANT TO TALK?

If you notice a friend or family member who doesn't seem quite like themselves lately, check in and start a conversation.

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I'M HERE FOR YOU.

Want to show your support, but not quite sure what to say? Send this simple phrase to let a friend or loved one know you’re here for them, regardless of what they may be going through.

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JUST CHECKING IN.

Check in on those around you every once in a while by sending this sticker and letting them know you truly care about how they’re doing.

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Our Story

Why It’s Important to Talk

Okay to Say is an award-winning public awareness campaign, initiated by the Meadows Mental Health Policy Institute and supported by The Hackett Center for Mental Health. Okay to Say’s message is simple: it’s okay to talk openly about mental health. Hope begins with open and honest conversations about mental health between trusted family members, friends, and other loved ones. Together, we can make sure everyone has the support they need to begin getting better.
How can you play a role in making it Okay to Say?
  • Speak Up
If you are struggling with your mental health, reach out to a trusted friend or family member and share how you are feeling. It’s okay–and it’s vital-to ask for help.
  • Share Hope
If someone close to you is struggling, become their mental health supporter. You don’t have to be an expert; just showing up can be invaluable. Learn how to be a supporter by visiting okaytosaystg.wpengine.com.
  • Add Your Voice
Has someone helped you through a difficult time with a mental health issue? Your story–and your supporters’ experiences–will resonate with other people and inspire them to reach out for help, or offer help to a loved one. Share your journey at okaytosaystg.wpengine.com or on social media (with the hashtag #okaytosay) to help others speak out and share hope.

Spread the message that it’s okay to talk openly about mental health.

Want to share Okay to Say in your community? Download and share one of our campaign posters.
Okay to Say™ Poster 2021-1
Okay to Say™ Poster 2021-2

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